Dont Judge a Book by Its Cover

We all prejudge...believe it or not, YOU DO! I always prejudge, stereotype, and make assumptions about people based on their appearance....lets face it, we all do it. I do it apologetically....especially when I am dead wrong.

If you know me, you know that I am very attracted to BOTH Black and White men. YES...despite the afro, I would date a WB (White boy). So when I am out and about, I check them out...just as much as a Black man. The difference between the two is that White men typically dont check me out, at least not the ones I like (we will get to my type in a few). I stopped straightening (relaxing) my hair in 2004 and since then, I cant pay a WB (that I like) to even look my way. I figured that since I look like afro-centric, Black Power, Black Nationalist (all stereotypes) that they 'are just not that into me'. It sucks, cause I do believe love/sex/attraction is blind. You like who you like...PERIOD.

Well, tonight, I had 2 WB encounters....yes TWO in one sitting...LOL. While hanging out with my friend at his job (a sports bar), I met a really cool guy named, Jesse. He is a journalist who hails from SoCal and thinks that Cali is real life and the East Coast is not real...LOL....so much for this blog, right?! As we were talking, I started kinda checkin him out...not bad. Then I started to place stereotypes on him...like he is into bohemian, White chicks and that he is probably a really serious brainy type. Jesse then departed and headed to his movie...I gave him my card, because he wants to read this blog....hehehe.

Then I met Scott. He was not my type, but seemed cool. We began to chat and somehow we got on the subject of tattoos. He share that he was at a tattoo convention...I was like HUH? lol....now Scott looks like a conservative guy from the Midwest. I told him that I completely stereotyped him and could never picture him at a tattoo convention. Then he said then I bet you cant guess what school I go to...I immediate said, you must go to my school, Howard and he said YEP. LOL...hilarious!!! I never saw that coming...heck I never saw him at a tattoo convention, but he was there with his fiance who was getting a tatt coverd. Nonetheless, I prejudged and stereotyped him totally!

So now we can discuss my 'type' of WB. I like 'all-American', Abercrombie kinda guy. I dont want an 'Eminem' WB....if so, I can just date a Black guy. I like WB's who love 70's & 80's rock music, tell corny jokes, and likes to golf...LOL. My taste in WB's is wayyy different that my taste in Black men...dunno why it just is. Once I saw that Jesse was kinda smart, kinda cute, and interesting, I was like....ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST, cause my fro, dark skin, full-figure, and strong personality and the fact that I am not from a middle class family is definitely not his type.

I find myself going through this with both Black and White men, but I just so happened to have met 2 really cool WB's tonight...one of which I wouldnt mind calling me....hehehehe. Til next time...BE EASY!

IM A 7 ON A GOOD DAY

So, I havent posted in over a year, but thanks to some interesting situations and encouragement from people I admire, I decided to start again.

Its Friday, Im at lunch with 3 stand-up comedians in Philly. Im having a great time, but began to feel some kind of way when they began talking about women. They were not...well at least 1 of them were not disrespectful, but I realized that they are comfortable as heck talkin about women in front of me. I started to feel like the "bff" of the basketball player, the homegirl, the big girl that is kinda cute. You may call it low self-esteem, but I call it SELF-AWARENESS, but in my mind I had to tell myself....hell IM A 7 ON A GOOD DAY!

Later in the day, my homie referenced how I have 'funny' ways and that he can tell that Ive been single for a long time. I asked what did he mean? He restated what he said as his explanation....WTHeck! He says this because I told him that I do use GPS and that I dont reset the clock in my car. He said see thats what Im saying, you have some 'funny' ways. Again, I felt some kind of way. Im thinking like, wow, this is my friend and he is bashing me for being single...this is some bullshiggidy...but in my mind Im thinking IM A 7 ON A GOOD DAY!

I drive back to DC to hang with my girl for her bday. Her fiance texts me that they are at Recess on 15th St. Im like whew, that place is small, but cool, I'll roll through. I get to Recess after spending 2 1/2 hours on 95 South only to be asked, not for my ID that I already had out, but if he could help me. I said, I am here for my friend's birthday. Immediately, I knew where this was going. My dress wasnt tight enough, my waistline wasnt small enough, and my heels weren't high enough...this guy is about to get 'hollywood' on me. He then asks if I am on a guest list. I tell him that I doubt it, but I give her name just in case. He looks at the list and comes back and says well there is no list for that name and that maybe I should call her. I said nah its cool cause I dont do 'hollywood', but in my mind I am thinking....IM A 7 ON A GOOD DAY and thats enough for me!

*confession* All of this hurt my feelings and thats OK with me. I remember a time when I was too proud to admit when my feelings were hurt. I feel like if those comics even thought I was cute, they would not have been so dismissive of me as a woman during their convo. If I was more of a 10, my friend wouldnt remind me of how long Ive been single. If I was in shape, the guy at Recess would not have looked at me like I was trying to get into a 'WHITES ONLY' club. I know that Im a 7 on a good day, I know that I have been single for a long time, and I know that I am not a 6 but a 16....but do I have to be reminded on these things all in one damn day?? Why cant I be a 7 in the looks department and still feel good about myself? Because thats not what men want...or better yet, thats not what SOCIETY tells me to want. I guess I need to get in shape and get a man...LOL

What is the BPH?

The Black Political Hollywood is Washington, DC. This is the place where politicians are celebrities and receive red carpet treatment. If you are young, gifted, and Black BPH is for you. After living her for 4 years, I have found that the BPH is where you start to change the world. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere...LITERALLY! The great thing about BPH is that its not just for politicians or government workers. Actually, there are more non-profits here than any other city in the country and for good reason. :)

This blog is my life in the BPH, the good, the bad, the embarrassing. I moved here in 2006 with nothing, but a place to live. I had no job, no money, and no family. Like most transplants, I was hoping for a chance to change the world in our nations capitol. I live with a great couple for 6 months, then I lived with a crazy chick, and then a weird family. I applied to grad school and didnt get in. But when I had nothing, I had my faith.

I dont think DC is much different from LA. People here can be fake and flaky. They want to be seen and think they are important. Most people are in character when they are at work, then they are down to Earth at happy hour. I guess thats what it takes to make it in the BPH.

Stay tuned, til the next episode....