Its Friday, Im at lunch with 3 stand-up comedians in Philly. Im having a great time, but began to feel some kind of way when they began talking about women. They were not...well at least 1 of them were not disrespectful, but I realized that they are comfortable as heck talkin about women in front of me. I started to feel like the "bff" of the basketball player, the homegirl, the big girl that is kinda cute. You may call it low self-esteem, but I call it SELF-AWARENESS, but in my mind I had to tell myself....hell IM A 7 ON A GOOD DAY!
Later in the day, my homie referenced how I have 'funny' ways and that he can tell that Ive been single for a long time. I asked what did he mean? He restated what he said as his explanation....WTHeck! He says this because I told him that I do use GPS and that I dont reset the clock in my car. He said see thats what Im saying, you have some 'funny' ways. Again, I felt some kind of way. Im thinking like, wow, this is my friend and he is bashing me for being single...this is some bullshiggidy...but in my mind Im thinking IM A 7 ON A GOOD DAY!
I drive back to DC to hang with my girl for her bday. Her fiance texts me that they are at Recess on 15th St. Im like whew, that place is small, but cool, I'll roll through. I get to Recess after spending 2 1/2 hours on 95 South only to be asked, not for my ID that I already had out, but if he could help me. I said, I am here for my friend's birthday. Immediately, I knew where this was going. My dress wasnt tight enough, my waistline wasnt small enough, and my heels weren't high enough...this guy is about to get 'hollywood' on me. He then asks if I am on a guest list. I tell him that I doubt it, but I give her name just in case. He looks at the list and comes back and says well there is no list for that name and that maybe I should call her. I said nah its cool cause I dont do 'hollywood', but in my mind I am thinking....IM A 7 ON A GOOD DAY and thats enough for me!
*confession* All of this hurt my feelings and thats OK with me. I remember a time when I was too proud to admit when my feelings were hurt. I feel like if those comics even thought I was cute, they would not have been so dismissive of me as a woman during their convo. If I was more of a 10, my friend wouldnt remind me of how long Ive been single. If I was in shape, the guy at Recess would not have looked at me like I was trying to get into a 'WHITES ONLY' club. I know that Im a 7 on a good day, I know that I have been single for a long time, and I know that I am not a 6 but a 16....but do I have to be reminded on these things all in one damn day?? Why cant I be a 7 in the looks department and still feel good about myself? Because thats not what men want...or better yet, thats not what SOCIETY tells me to want. I guess I need to get in shape and get a man...LOL
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